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From The Sky To The Dirt

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THIS JOURNAL IS CLOSED [12 Jul 2006|03:26pm]
[ mood | sad ]



[07 Jun 2006|11:55pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

<small>Tommorow is my last day of highschool. 

I dont know what to do with myself.  Im restless, confused, and scared.  Im not ready for this!!! Gaa!!!! <i>*rips hair out*</i>

Tommorow will be my last update ever in the journal, minus the few adds that ill post stating that ive switch journals. 

3 Missed A Beat ~ Blink

ROCK THE FUCK OUT! [07 Jun 2006|03:17am]
3 Missed A Beat ~ Blink

[06 Jun 2006|10:52pm]
So 3 more days until I switch journals.( I will soon be using rottenrainbow)  I really can't wait to move into my new ElJay home, and after this entry I will go through and add those on my current friendlist that I want to take with me on the switch. 

Life has been great since my last update.  Ive pretty much been spending all my time with Tony, Phil, and Ellen.   We've gone thrifting, to the city, new hope, gotten a hotel room, explored the woods, survived my graduation party, and just smoked alot of pot.  I lovelovelove them all so much. 

There is so much that I want to say in here.  So much that I want to get off of my chest about the past, but I dont think that I can do it. 

This journal has been one of the few things that ive kept up with.  This journal is where ive made all my cryptic messages to ex lovers in hopes that they would read them and somehow see me like I would have liked them to see me. This journal has caused pointless drama.  This journal has helped me by allowing me to read others journals who have impacted me in some way.  This journal has held my heartbreaks, loves, and moments of happiness. 

My new journal will be nice though.  Im ready to move into the next chapter of my life, and let go of alot of my past. 

3 Missed A Beat ~ Blink

I wont let you fall apar [03 Jun 2006|02:25am]

she doesn't see her beauty
she tries to get away
sometimes it's just that nothing seems worth saving
i can't watch her slip away



woo [30 May 2006|06:22pm]
[ mood | good ]

Drum circle tonight in fairmount park!  It should be a good time!

Real update tommorow <3

1 Missed A Beat ~ Blink

Crazy! [28 May 2006|11:28am]
[ mood | happy ]

<small>What a crazy night! 

I ended up going to Byberry with Tony for a little late night exploration.  We ended up getting kinda lost while trying to get to champs couch because it was dark and we went in a weird entrance, so we ended up on a different roof where we ran into some crazy nazi skinheads who told us they would lead us to it when they left.  They then went on to shout, "I hate niggers," at the top of their lungs to people on one of the other roofs. 

They tired of that after a few minutes, and we followed them to champs couch.  The entire time there they were exchanging dumb racist jokes. I was really skeptical about the people that we would encounter once at champs.  I figured we had stumbled upon a teenage Klan meeting or something, but it ended up being a bunch of kids just being kinda loud, hanging out, and drinking.  Tony and I stayed anti-social for awhile and just sat off away from the crowd for a few minutes.  Then Beef came over with his cousin and we smoked a bowl.  A few more people came over after that, and then we all kinda dismanded.  Tony and I chilled out for a little bit longer on the roof before we decided to go do a little exploring.

We took the tunnels to one of the other bulidings where it has the highest roof.  We ventured up, and found the highest point possible at Byberry and just kinda chilled out up there.  After a few minutes Vince(anity) and one of his friends stumbled out onto the roof.  They climbed up to where we were perched, and we were just kinda talking for a bit when we had a very rude interuption.

2 guys wearing all black came storming onto the roof, shining their flashlights in our eyes and telling us to stand still.  At first we all kinda just thought that they were people fucking with us pretending to be security, but we were wrong.  They told us to climb down off of the roof from how we got up.  We all followed obeidently, and Vince kept assuring me and Tony not to worry, that nothing would happen to us. 

Knowing that I had my bowl and green on me, I left my purse up on the roof, and just climbed down.  They made us all stand with our hands up against the wall, acting like real jerks and lecturing us.  Vince started to shoot his mouth off right away, mocking the security gaurds and just being difficult. 

I couldn't belive what was happening.  From everyone that we had talked to I we were led to belive that security never went inside, but there they were on top of the highest roof, decked out in superintimidating utility vests.

They continued to question us, making us keep our hands on the wall the entire time.  I was pretty freaked out, but Vince just kept their attention on him untill they handcuffed him.  Then one of the gaurds actually pulled me aside and asked me if I had been brought there against my will, or if they had tried to rape me.  I was pretty shocked by the question, and just said "no" over and over again.  They then made me get back up against the wall.  They asked us all our ages, and Vince's friend told them that he was 12 so they cuffed him too. 
Tony and I just kinda tried to be as compliant as possible, and It really worked.  They told us to just get out, and that if they found us still in the buliding when they got down there that they would take us in too.  We just quickly said thankyou, and booked it out. 

Im really thankful to Vince.  His being such a smart ass completely took all of the heat off of Tony and me.

I had to leave my purse up on the roof, so I spent the night with tony so that we could go back first thing this morning and retrieve it. 

We ended up going to Dunkin Dounuts, getting some sugary confections, going back to the red house, watching the first half of Heathers, then kinda passing out the floor. 

We got up at around 7:30, and went back to Byberry for mission rescue purse.  We kept our presence on the dl, and just quickly made our way up to the roof that we had been on, grabbed the purse, and moved onto the other bulidings.  We spent the rest of the morning exploring the bulidings some more, brainstorming some tag ideas and finding cool places to chill at. 

Im pretty tired right now, and half to go get ready for work.  Hopefully the 2 Monsters that I just downed with help perk me up a bit. 

Im seeing Tony again tonight after work <3

im outtttt,

2 Missed A Beat ~ Blink

dead from all the lonliness, this is how I feel [27 May 2006|10:12am]
[ mood | hungry ]

So last night was spent with me staying up and submerging myself into a few random different art projects before taking an oxy, smoking, chilling out to music, and eventually passing out.

Good times, right?

Yesterday was field day at school. I actually participated, and had a pretty good time. Towards the end of the day it ended up raining, and I got to dance around in it with Jess and silly little gay Jimmy.

The whole end of high school thing has me feeling very nostalgic. I can't belive that its actually over, and im really kinda sad that its over. Im not sure im ready for life yet, I could use a few more years of pointless education. At the same time, i also have this panic-y feeling that I really wasted what could have been of my highschool years by going to alternative school. There are many friendships that I lost when I left Bensalem high, and what friendships I managed to keep suffered greatly. The only thing that makes me not regret it is that I got to really get to know kelley, and im very happy to call her my friend. :-)

Anywho, after school I actually got the chance to talk to Donna. Donna was one of my best friends who moved after the end of 9th grade. We kept in touch for a while after she moved, talking atleast once a week for atleast 2 hours, but eventually we started to have lifes and drifted apart from one another. She ended up moving out of her mothers house, so I had no way to get in contact with her. The other day Kelley and I were talking about our parted best friends (Her best friend Amanda moved to Florida too) and it made me very sad that she isn't a part of my life anymore. So I turned to the good old myspace. Surprise surprise, she had one.  I got her number, and called her yesterday.  We couldn't talk long because I had to go to work, but her life was nothing like what I expected.  She spoke of a recent coke addiction that she broke, her sister 16 year old sister getting knocked up by a 29 year old, crack smoking, guys with kids and ex wifes, and getting out of her parents house.  Shocking, but not really.  I mean, one of my other best friends, Tamara, ended up turning into a crack head, so very little could shock me at this point.   Talking to donna made me really sad because she seems harder.  When I first got on the phone it took every ounce of strength not to burst into tears from missing her so much, but she just talked as if she wasn't herself, as if she were just an innocent bystander reporting what had happened in her life.  Maybe we drifted apart for a reason?  Maybe im just being a moron?  Idontknow.

Then I worked. Oooo, there is a new very sexy driver named Cliff. Hes actually from the levittown store, but he is picking up more hours at our store. I still have yet to really talk to him but he wears a hemp bracelet and has a lighter belt attatchment which is usually the sign of a pot smoker. Maybe I can ask him today.

-insert stomach gurgling-

Im a hungry.  I think ill go do something about that.

More later?

2 Missed A Beat ~ Blink

my birthdays coming up *cough cough* [26 May 2006|11:29pm]
I really really really want This.

I need another job.
1 Missed A Beat ~ Blink

yep, im bored [26 May 2006|09:41pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Your Life Path Number is 11

Your purpose in life is to inspire others

Your amazing energy draws people to you, and you give them great insight in return.
You hold a great amount of power over others, without even trying.
You have the makings of an inventor, artist, religious leader, or prophet.

In love, you are sensitive and passionate. You connect with your partner on a very deep level.

You have great abilities, but you are often way too critical of yourself.
You don't fit in - and instead of celebrating your differences, you dwell on them.
You have high expectations of yourself. But sometimes you set them too high and don't achieve anything.
2 Missed A Beat ~ Blink

[25 May 2006|09:04pm]
[ mood | morose ]

1 is a very lonely number, and I am a very lonely girl.

2 Missed A Beat ~ Blink

[25 May 2006|03:54pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

So from this point on high school means nothing. If it were even possible for me to fuck up at my school, doing so would mean nothing.

Its kind of reliving. It also makes me really question what the point is. But of course ill be a good girl and keep going to school up until graduation. Dont want to miss the possiblility to make some great memories right?!?!?! *puke*

Anyway, its Thursday night. I should be out having some kind of social life, but I think i would praefer to curl up in a ball and not wake up untill June. Ill proablly end up giving Tony a call and seeing what hes up to. I miss him.

My life has been topsy turvey. Ive been trying to update, but everytime I do I type a few paragraphs then delete them. Eh.

-insert break from writing-

Whoa, that was odd. I just talked to my Grandma O'hara! (if I would have been born with her name I would have been Sarah O'harer) Talk about a blast from the past! She is kinda my grandmother, but I haven't talked to her in years! She sounds like she is slipping into senility though, and kept reminding herself that she was talking to me I think ("Oh its so nice to talk to you...Sarah") poor lady. I told her that once I get a car I will come and vist her. She is like 78, and im sure she would enjoy the company. Id be scared to go and see her though, I think that all the facial piercings would give her a heart atack.

Woo. Im actually making progress with this update!

My mother has been acting crazy. She has totally lost it and started to talk to herself and get super paranoid that Brian and I were talking about her. She stopped sleeping/eating, and has been super over the edge. Of course Brian doesn't want to listen to me that his wife is completely manic and could probally benifit from a hospital stay. Whatever. She truly shared her insainity yesterday when I had a parent conference between her and my counciler Bob. It started off okay, with my mother playing her well rehersed "concerned parent" role, but as the meeting went on and turned to our homelife her mood completely changed. It went on with her not denying the horrible tension in our house but not offering any even close to willingness to change things. She started freaking out that if I dont like the way that things are in our house that I should leave and never come back. Then she scooped up her things, screamed, "I dont have to take this!" and ran out of the school.

Bob felt horrible. I felt mortified.

I cried for a while after that, but eventually with the ear of Kelley I started to feel better.

Im going to go smoke and call Tony!

15 days until graduation!


[22 May 2006|09:58pm]
Well it seems so real I can see it
And it seems so real I can feel it
And it seems so real I can taste it
And it seems so real I can hear it
So why can't I touch it?
So why can't I touch it?

Ive decided that for the rest of the 18 days this journal will be open I will only post with cryptic lyrics. 10 points if you know who todays artist is.

Im not even in my head anymore.

Im better off without you tearing my will down [20 May 2006|11:08am]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

You're a stranger
So what do I care
You vanish today
Not the first time I hear
All the lies

I knew that he would drop off the face of the planet again. Whatever. I just dont understand why something that I knew was going to happen hurts so badly.

Eh, ill get over it.


I am now obsessed with exploring Byberry Mental Hospital. It is such an amazing place, im really sad that they are going to start knocking it down. Hopefully ill get the chance to venture into all of the bulidings before they do.

My mom is really sick.
Graduation is right around the corner.
And I could use a good cuddling.

That is all.
3 Missed A Beat ~ Blink

[14 May 2006|09:53pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

I finally woke up from the dream ive been living.
Everything seems so real now. I think I should feel more alive than ever, but I think i need to rest up a little bit before I piece myself back together.

Ill reexamine al of this in the morning.


[13 May 2006|09:01pm]
Muuussstttt dddaaannnncccceeeeeee

Counting down [12 May 2006|03:22pm]
[ mood | excited ]

1 hour until I have to be at work
1 day until the pine barrons
28 days until graduation
43 days until I leave for england
63 days until I'm legal
3 years 63 days until I'm 21
1 Missed A Beat ~ Blink

Someonewhere in the dreams [12 May 2006|12:34pm]
[ mood | tired ]

So I will be moving journals upon my graduation from highschool. Ill be starting a new chapter in my life, so why not a new journal to go along with! I will not delete this livejournal, as it contains alot of memorys my stoner ass would have forgotten by now.

My new journal name will be rottenrainbow, so add me!

[11 May 2006|05:39pm]
[ mood | grumpy ]


...Hate Thursdays
...am high
...need to get laid
..wish it was the weekend
2 Missed A Beat ~ Blink

Photo Time! [11 May 2006|05:06pm]
[ mood | high ]

You practically raise the deadCollapse )

2 Missed A Beat ~ Blink

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